Shyness 02.02.2018

Shyness 02.02.2018

I watched something recently which got my brain thinking…it was on BBC one, thursday the 30th January. Matthew had fallen asleep next to me on the sofa, I was looking at my phone scrolling through instagram with the telly still on of course (for background noise!). I kept hearing something about being shy and stand-up comedian, Rhod Gilbert, I looked up to see him in the middle of a shopping centre trying to approach members of the public to ask if they suffered with shyness, but he felt to shy to ask… Now I never thought that comedians could be shy. I always thought of them being quite open and confident. Performing in front of thousands of people you would have to be right? Turns out some of the greatest stand up comedians are in actual fact shy. Rhod Gilbert being one of them.

I have always been shy. I was as a kid, and I sort of am as an adult now. I am better than how I use to be. At school I was painfully shy. I would not say boo to a goose. It was actually not until my mid twenties after a relationship break-up and also learning to drive that set me free from my shy prison. I finally stood up for myself, for my life and finally started living. Nothing like having a drastic circumstance change to give yourself a bit of confidence. It definitely changed me as a person. I am much better off now because of the decision I made and even though it was shitty and painful at the time, it needed to happen. I had huge support from my family and friends, and after it had all happened it was like a weight had been lifted off of me. I cannot describe it like anything else but that. I felt in control of my life for the first time ever, and that gave me huge confidence. I literally thought fuck it. Life is too short to be miserable. Cliched I know but no truer words have ever been spoken! I started looking people in the eye when I was talking to them and laughing more. Appreciating music, beautiful sunny days and my loved ones around me. I always had this idea that being shy was such a terrible thing, I would hate myself for being like it. But looking back now, and living my life now, I do not see it as a bad thing. I am learning to embrace it. It is a part of who I am and I think I will always have it within me, but nobody is perfect eh?

People I have met in the past have almost been frightened of people who are shy. Not knowing how to talk to them, finding them rude or boring. These people I find are the ones who seem to be very narrow minded about life and the people around them. Not everyone is the same and we all deal with things and circumstances in our lives differently, there is no right or wrong answer after all. We all have our story to tell.

Learning to drive, my god this was huge for me. I don’t know about you but this was a massive achievement for me. I never thought I would manage it. I scrimped and saved for my lessons. Failed the first driving test, but passed the second time. (Woo!) I am so glad I did it. I love driving. It has given me the confidence to think, well if I can do that I can do anything, I have inherited my dads road rage thats for sure. There are a lot of idiots out there and they need to be told lets face it.

Watching Rhod Gilbert talking about shyness affecting 50% of the population made me think that we should not be ashamed of this personality trait. We should embrace it. It is part of what makes us, us. I think also confidence grows with age and experiences. It is okay to be an introvert or an extrovert. If everyone was the same there would be no balance. Us introverts keep the extroverts in line. Shyness is a part of me yes, but there can be so much more to a person.

Give Rhod Gilbert’s Stand up to shyness programme a watch. A definite recommend if you have a spare hour.

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Thanks for reading.

Wigmore out.

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